Tuesday, April 29, 2008

º Things Shouldn't Say In Front of Kids

*Mind vulgar words!!


1st Scene
Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room,
right in front of their little son.

Daddy :
Oh!!! You Bitch!
Mommy : What?? You Bastard!
Son : Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard??

At this moment, Daddy blushes.
He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : It means Ladies and Gentlemen son.
Son : Oh I see!


2nd Scene
Little Son was watching a TV show
about premarital sex
and there they mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'.
Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : Mommy, what's breasts and penises?

At this moment, mommy turned blue,
and quickly thought of something to say.

Mom: It means coats and hats, son.
Son : Oh I see!


3rd Scene
Daddy was shaving his beard and son passed by; the toilet.
Suddenly daddy cut himself and scream...

Daddy : Oh SHIT!!
Son : Daddy, what's shit?

At this moment, Daddy eyes bulged,
and quickly thought of something to say..

Daddy : It means shaving cream, son.
Son : Oh I see!!


4th Scene
Christmas is approaching, and mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.
The turkey just wouldn't fit into the stove, so she said...
Mommy : Oh! Fuck!
Son : Mommy, what's fuck?

At this moment, Mommy froze. She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy : It means stuffing, son.
Son : Oh I see!!


5th Scene...
It's Chrismas Eve!
Little son exuberantly opened the door to let all that is uncles, aunties,
cousins and friends come into the house. Proudly he said...


"Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches!
Please put all your breasts and
penises at that corner of the house!
My parent are busy at the moment.
You see, Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs
and mummy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen.
Don't worry they will come out in a minute!!"


Everyone fainted!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

º Happy & Prosperous Year 2008

Hello my colleague!
In 2008 I wish you:
Good mood and enthusiasm!
Good luck and success!
Adventure!
Romantic travel!
Unforgettable experiences!
Practical presents!
Runs!
More good news!
Great love!
Dedicated friends!
Health and good appetite!
Happy family!
Happy Chinese New Year!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

º Two Nuns trailed


There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM)
,

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)
.

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM:
Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL:
It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM:
Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL:
The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM:
It's not working.

SL:
Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM
: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL:
The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.


Sister Mathematical
arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM:
Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL
: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM
: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL
: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM
: And?

SL
: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM
: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL
: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM
: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL
: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.


SM:
Oh, no! What happened then?



Scroll down...for last bit...


What do you think the logical nun does next?






SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

I'll pray for your Filthy minds

Thursday, April 17, 2008

º Online Eye Test


Pls follow the guide.

1. First close one of your eye.

2. Move your mouse point at the red '!".

3. Right click at the !.

4. Then go (select all).

5. Then u'll see the result.





Stupid of you !

People ask you to do something and
you do it without applying your mind ;)

YOur eye sight is alright,
But... YoUr MinD has gOt ProbLem!!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

º Mr Rabbit Exercies

Get ready to exercise!!

Some exercises to keep you awake during working hours before weekend coming..

1st: Warming up





2nd: Stretching





3rd: Upper Body exercise





4rd: Lower Body exercise (moving to left and
back)





5th: Lower Body exercise (moving to right and back)





6th: Head exercise (make sure to do the 2nd part, it works!)

LV1:




LV2:




7th: Whole Body exercise

LV1




LV2




LV3





8th: Jumping exercise: The Pose is the key! B
ut remember to jump!





9th: Relax

LV1




LV2





LV3





Over..... Well done!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

º Your Age with Dinning

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This is pretty neat

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.


1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758...
If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number.
(I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

º Funny Jokes