º Things Shouldn't Say In Front of Kids

*Mind vulgar words!!

1st Scene
Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room,
right in front of their little son.
Daddy : Oh!!! You Bitch!
Mommy : What?? You Bastard!
Son : Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard??

At this moment, Daddy blushes.
He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : It means Ladies and Gentlemen son.
Son : Oh I see!

2nd Scene
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex
and there they mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'.
Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : Mommy, what's breasts and penises?

At this moment, mommy turned blue,
and quickly thought of something to say.
Mom: It means coats and hats, son.
Son : Oh I see!

3rd Scene
Daddy was shaving his beard and son passed by; the toilet.
Suddenly daddy cut himself and scream...
Daddy : Oh SHIT!!
Son : Daddy, what's shit?

At this moment, Daddy eyes bulged,
and quickly thought of something to say..
Daddy : It means shaving cream, son.
Son : Oh I see!!

4th Scene
Christmas is approaching, and mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.
The turkey just wouldn't fit into the stove, so she said...
Mommy : Oh! Fuck!
Son : Mommy, what's fuck?

At this moment, Mommy froze. She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy : It means stuffing, son.
Son : Oh I see!!

5th Scene...
It's Chrismas Eve!
Little son exuberantly opened the door to let all that is uncles, aunties,
cousins and friends come into the house. Proudly he said...

"Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches!
Please put all your breasts and
penises at that corner of the house!
My parent are busy at the moment.
You see, Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs
and mummy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen.
Don't worry they will come out in a minute!!"

Everyone fainted!!!

º Happy & Prosperous Year 2008

Hello my colleague!
In 2008 I wish you:
Good mood and enthusiasm!
Good luck and success!
Adventure!
Romantic travel!
Unforgettable experiences!
Practical presents!
Runs!
More good news!
Great love!
Dedicated friends!
Health and good appetite!
Happy family!
Happy Chinese New Year!

º Two Nuns trailed

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) ,

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

Scroll down...for last bit...

What do you think the logical nun does next?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

I'll pray for your Filthy minds