º Funny Cartoons

Also in Q

Multi-Tasking

Any difference

Smile please

Hello Sir

I am hungry

Don't cry

Believe me

Update with Technology

º Technology in Y3K

º Singapore English Vs. Britain English

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you
want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other
outlets for you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Hello, u call me ah?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: S-kews me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to
entre through this door?
Singaporeans: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm
trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do
I know you?
Singaporeans: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Wat happen, why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!

º Newly Defined Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated By feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

º All about Job Cartoons

º Meaning of Marriage

º Jokes About Marriages & Couples

Shut-up

If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The Dog of course ....... at least it will shut up after you let him in !

========================================

Three Children

A couple had three children.
Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome
but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked :
" Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine ? "
" Yes, dear, " replied the wife, " ...... but the other two are not. "

========================================

Qualities of a Wife

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities -----
She is an economist in the kitchen,
an aristocrat in the living room
and a devil in bed.

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain,
but not in the same order anymore.
She becomes an aristocrat in the kitchen,
a devil in the living room
and an economist in bed.

========================================

Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned immediately.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said :
" Gosh ! It really works! "

========================================

Plain Lazy

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said,
" Now, Doc, I can take it.
Tell me in plain English ---- what is wrong with me ? "
" Well, in plain English ", the doctor replied, " you're just lazy. "
" Okay, " said the man.
" Now give me the really complicated medical term
so that I can tell my wife. "

========================================

Wedding Anniversary

I asked my wife : " Where do you want to go on our anniversary ? "
She said : " Oh ! Somewhere I have never been before ! "
I told her : " How about the kitchen ? "

========================================

The Marriage is .....

How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

========================================

Happiest Hour

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband,
" Do you remember when you proposed to me,
I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour? "
The hubby replied :
" Yes, honey, that was indeed the happiest hour of my married life. "

========================================

Holding Hands

We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops!

º All about an Ah Beng (Bro in Malay) life

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

---

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend : Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

---

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR : Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

---

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife : No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

---

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife : How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

---

Ah Beng complained to the police:
'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police : 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

---

Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

---

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

---

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

---

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

---

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man : This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng : If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

---

Teacher : 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

---

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant : 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

---

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning.
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.

º SiNgApOrE is ...

º Aircrew Compartment

Boeing 747-400

KLM Airline


Boeing 777


SQ


Canada Airline



and...........

AirAsia


Ssssssshhh..... Don't laugh too loud!! You might wake her up.. ;-)